What I learned on my trip to Fresno, and other random ramblings from the plane.

1) American Airlines blows; their planes smell like toilets.

2) Luggage does get left behind in connection cities, even when you have an hour and a half between flights.

3) While rifling through a bag that is unclaimed due to #2 (see above) in DFW, where people are exceedingly annoying and aren't familiar with "walking etiquette", AA baggage handlers may rape and pillage said bag. Pilfered items may include prescription medication and makeup (?); broken items may include a bejeweled compact/mirror given to one by one's father, thus possessing nostalgic importance. (It's no one's fault but my own for checking the bag in the first place, this I know...)

4) It is beyond futile to attempt to recover items referenced above.

5) It is therefore best to avoid checking luggage, even if that means one's hair will be frizzy due to the lack of the array of products with which one usually travels. Lesson learned, okay?

6) Inbreeding is never a good idea, but it is certainly a popular one.

7) Catching a connecting flight in middle America is not a good idea either.

8) In general, people in Fresno are nicer than those in Providence.

9) Ethiopian food is tasty, especially when it's spur of the moment with new friends.

9a) I have a much higher threshold for "spicy" than most, or at least than many.

10) Paso Robles Wine Country is an hour west of Fresno, a convenient midpoint stop on the way to coastal Morro Bay.

11) Turley is in Paso Robles.

12) Pomegranite trees grow in backyards in Fresno. It's not just citrus!

13) Not surprisingly, great Mexican food is easily had in Fresno.

14) Fresno has beautiful starry skies.

15) The Big Dipper remains the only constellation I can reliably recognize. I point it out to all.

16) The Dinnerman likes freshly picked (pilfered) grapefruit.

17) Many bartenders have no idea what a Vieux Carre is, and look at me like I am crazy when I ask for one, while the Dinnerman looks on and rolls his eyes. I do realize that mistaking me for crazy is not hard to do.

18) Hot tubs are nice.

19) Maria Shriver is on my flight (LA to Boston) right now. She is standing in the aisle as I drink my vodka and soda, and she looks great!

20) I must concede that this particular AA plane does not smell like a toilet.

21) People generally find me interesting, but I wonder if it's akin to rubbernecking at a car crash.

22) Crying babies on planes make me almost as crazy as kids kicking the back of my seat. I bet there is no one kicking Maria Shriver's seat.

23) It's especially irritating when even having my ipod on the highest volume setting can't drown out said (spoiled, undisciplined, indulged) screaming baby.

24) It's good to land in Boston.

25) It's good to anticipate sleeping in one's own bed.

Good night!